Nowadays there are lots of different ways for people to stay informed. You see news on television, you hear it in the radio or you can read it in the newspapers or in the internet. It is almost impossible to escape any kind of news, but is it really important that people stay informed?
I see this issue two-sided. On the one hand I do think it is important to stay informed, but on the other hand I think some people exaggerate too much.
I start with the importance of staying informed for oneself. If you are a person who is interested in sports, gossip, the happenings in the world etc. then you are able to get information about this aspects quickly by consuming news. Furthermore lots of people like reading the newspapers while they are having their breakfast, or they like listening to the news on the radio on their way to their work station. So news can be a hobby too for those people.
Another aspect, why staying informed is important, is society. It is very important to have certain knowledge about important changes in the world or fashion trends. Being informed means that you have some topics to talk about and so you appear smartly. People talk much about information which they gained from news and if you’re informed, you can easily join a conversation and find friends.
The last aspect, which shows the importance of being informed, is the importance of general education. It is part of general education to know what is going on in the world. I think the political news is the most important part of news, because we live in a democratic state. Everybody should be informed about politicians, political parties and political changes, because of the elections. Everybody has the right to vote and if most people don’t know anything about politics, it could be that a party, which is not good for the state, gets too much influence in the legislature. You should also know something about laws and their changes, because you should know how to behave in your own state.
To conclude, in my opinion it is important to stay informed, but you don’t need to know every detail of what is happening in the world. Even if you miss important information, it is not that bad, because you will hear it anywhere you go, from other people or in the television by channel-surfing. So, I think it’s enough to know the news which are important for yourself and directly influence your daily business.
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exp/g: You can watch the news ...
exp: ... on the radio
exp: ... on the internet
exp: You're in two minds about this issue.
str: some ... exaggerate it (- 'too much ' is included in the word 'exaggerate')
In written texts don't say what you do - just do it. e.g.
--> I start with the importance ...
--> From the perspective of the individual there are quite a few reasons why it's good to be informed.
exp: what is happening in the world
g: those aspects
exp: ... by reading the news
exp: ... to their work place
'hobby' - What you describe is more than just a hobby. It's a pleasant way of making time go by.
exp: "Another aspect, why staying informed is important, is society." --> From a social perspective it is important too that ...
exp: to have some knowledge of ...
g: to appear (come across as) smart ...
exp: news about politics
exp: "political changes' ?
exp: ... too much influence in Parliament
g: know about the laws and any changes ...
exp: ... it's not so bad because you will pick it (= the information) up somewhere when people discuss it.
g: .. the news which is ... and directly influences ...
The structure is clear, but the introductory sentences are a bit weak. You explain your thoughts clearly. And there are a few concrete examples, too. I think the idea of "exaggerating" gets lost a bit and when you come back to it at the end, you don't manage to do this convincingly. You highlight this aspect too much in the introduction and so raise the reader's expectations.
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